Birthing From Within - Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding

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Breastfeeding From Within
By Virginia Bobro

BIRTHING FROM WITHIN encourages and teaches "doing the next best thing" when it comes to making decisions within the flow of labor and birth. The same mind-set is important during postpartum and breastfeeding. In the days, weeks, months, and even years that a woman is breastfeeding, she will face numerous obstacles, detours, and unexpected events. How she prepares prenatally and how she views these challenges can make a difference in her ability to cope.

As a breastfeeding counselor, I support many breastfeeding mothers who have to change their perception of what a "successful" breastfeeding relationship is. Some mothers need to wean much earlier than they hoped. Others need to supplement with bottles or formula. These are opportunities to re-envision what it means to nurture and nourish their babies. Many mothers are humbled when the "breastfeeding fairy" presents them with difficult circumstances and spoils their fantasy that nursing is easy and blissful.

When breastfeeding does not go as expected or hoped for, a mother can feel regret, anger, blame, grief, and guilt. Inevitably, this negative self-talk begins to affect her self-esteem and attitude, her ability to receive support, and her relationships with her baby, partner, and others in her community.

So, what can be done?
In addition to learning practical things that make breastfeeding easier, do this:

♥ Learn and practice mindfulness.

The same pain-coping practices you learn to help you cope with labor can help you postpartum when you need to still your mind, quiet negative self-talk and deal with physical discomfort and stress. (See BIRTHING FROM WITHIN, pp. 213-238).

♥ Get a breastfeeding "reality check."

Breastfeeding is natural, but not always straightforward and easy. Very few women sail through breastfeeding on calm seas from beginning to end. Even for the most vigilant captain, storms arise outside of her control, and still, she can do the next best thing. When women know that they can influence but not control what happens, they can see the wisdom of preparing for all possibilities.

♥ Set up your breastfeeding support system.

Having a supportive crew onboard in the first months of motherhood can make all the difference. Welcome meals, errands, and compassionate listeners. When breastfeeding gets rough, support is needed to keep going and not get mired in "what ifs" and judgment. You need to hear acknowledgment that you are doing your best, not more advice and information.

♥ Focus on connecting with your baby and yourself as a mother

Come to breastfeeding with an open heart. To the degree that you can, let go of your ideals and goals, such as breastfeeding exclusively for six months. Just hold the intention to do the best you can. When you love yourself and feed your baby in love, this is the heart of breastfeeding from within.

Virginia Bobro is a mother of three children (including twins), a board-certified lactation consultant (IBCLC), a BIRTHING FROM WITHIN Mentor, Doula, Advisor and Workshop Facilitator, and was an accredited La Leche League Leader for ten years. She works with families in Santa Barbara, California.

Breastfeeding From Within^TM is part of a larger project called Parenting From Within^{^TM}. If you would like to share your story about how you "parent from within," write to: contact@birthingfromwithin.com.